1. supernatural-tardis:

    i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

    (via wingedflow)

    (Source: klefable, via misscocokat)

  2. 221cbakerstreet:




    One nation, under Canada, above Mexico.

    with liberty and justice for some 


    Not all men

    (via jackpattillosbeard)

    • Before Rooster Teeth:   that's immature
    • After Rooster Teeth:   anal bus boat
  3. madeupofnothings:

    [The “A” is for asexuals & aromantics- not allies]

    Mine, please and thank you

    (via boosterteeth)

  4. bisexualdemondean:

    I like my women how I like my men. 



    That’s it.

    That’s the joke. 

    I am bisexual.

    (via lilyisnotamused)

  5. madlori:

    I have decided that I will reblog this every time it comes across my dash because it makes me laugh until I think I’m going to puke.

    (Source: spoclcers-archive, via jackpattillosbeard)

  6. karkats-screaming-tentadick:


    So youre telling me an Onix alone couldn’t pull Charizard out of the pipe….

    onix has 45 attack which is the same as butterfree he’s a weak ass motherfucker and couldn’t pull himself out of a wet paper bag.

    (Source: turbonude, via danbgruchy)

  7. chelseajadexo:

    have you ever had a weird sort of crush on one of your friends where you cant actually tell if its a crush or not??? do i want to kiss you?? do i just really enjoy being your friend????? who knows? not me

    (via misscocokat)

  8. "I swear to every heaven ever imagined,
    if I hear one more dead-eyed hipster
    tell me that art is dead, I will personally summon Shakespeare
    from the grave so he can tell them every reason
    why he wishes he were born in a time where
    he could have a damn Gmail account.
    The day after I taught my mother
    how to send pictures over Iphone she texted
    me a blurry image of our cocker spaniel ten times in a row.
    Don’t you dare try to tell me that that is not beautiful.
    But whatever, go ahead and choose to stay in
    your backwards-hoping-all-inclusive club
    while the rest of us fall in love over Skype.
    Send angry letters to state representatives,
    as we record the years first sunrise so
    we can remember what beginning feels like when
    we are inches away from the trigger.
    Lock yourself away in your Antoinette castle
    while we eat cake and tweet to the whole universe that we did.
    Hashtag you’re a pretentious ass hole.
    Van Gogh would have taken 20 selfies a day.
    Sylvia Plath would have texted her lovers
    nothing but heart eyed emojis when she ran out of words.
    Andy Warhol would have had the worlds weirdest Vine account,
    and we all would have checked it every morning while we
    Snap Chat our coffee orders to the people
    we wish were pressed against our lips instead of lattes.
    This life is spilling over with 85 year olds
    rewatching JFK’s assassination and
    7 year olds teaching themselves guitar over Youtube videos.
    Never again do I have to be afraid of forgetting
    what my fathers voice sounds like.
    No longer must we sneak into our families phonebook
    to look up an eating disorder hotline for our best friend.
    No more must I wonder what people in Australia sound like
    or how grasshoppers procreate.
    I will gleefully continue to take pictures of tulips
    in public parks on my cellphone
    and you will continue to scoff and that is okay.
    But I hope, I pray, that one day you will realize how blessed
    you are to be alive in a moment where you can google search
    how to say I love you in 164 different languages"

    b.e. fitzgerald (via crackademia)

    (via fleurbot)

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